Dear Bereaved Mama

By Kima Tozay

As the world gears up to celebrate moms on Mother’s Day, You feel out of sorts
and ask yourself, Am I mother?
Do I fit the world’s narrative of a mother
if I don’t have children the world can see?
Or you look at your living children and it painfully
reminds you of missing pieces to your family tree
You question your value;
you question your worth
But I’m here to remind you that you are the mother of all mothers
Your baby is too beautiful for Earth

As the world gears up to celebrate moms on Mother’s Day,
I’m thinking of you and all you’ve had to pay
Dear Bereaved Mama, your motherhood looks different,
But your love for your baby is as bold as a sunrise
Did you know that dark clouds make a sunset glorious like the transformation of butterflies?
Your resilience to face the day without your sweet baby in your arms is undeniable
Though you will always hold your precious one in your heart,
this heaviness is undesirable
Your strength to live another childless day was never a choice you willingly made,
yet, you’ve paved the way
Dear Bereaved Mama, your baby is not here,
although they were still born.
Your inner light shines brighter because of
your will to carry on.

Author Bio: Shakima “Kima” Tozay is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Grief Counseling Specialist, and a bereaved mom. She supports and advocates for families impacted by pregnancy and infant loss and trauma and other mental health challenges. In 2021, Kima and a team of bereaved mothers, was instrumental in getting the Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth legislation passed in WA State. She is founder of Giving Tree Counseling & Coaching Services, PLLC and a board member of Perinatal Support WA. She lives with her husband in Stanwood.