An Interview with Kiley Hanish, Founder, Return to Zero: HOPE

By Kiley Hanish

Tell us a little about your organization, who it serves, and what need it fills

In 2014, we released the film RETURN TO ZERO, a story about our personal experience with our son who was stillborn. The film sparked much more than we anticipated — launching a grassroots movement that has crossed continents and languages, galvanizing a global community.

RTZ Hope, a national nonprofit, is a community of bereaved parents, families, and providers offering inclusive resources and holistic support for anyone whose life has been touched by loss: infertility, secondary infertility, miscarriage, ending a wanted pregnancy, stillbirth, infant or toddler death, loss through surrogacy, or failed adoption.

Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, RTZ Hope is here to walk alongside you. We believe no one should have to suffer in silence. As impossible as it may feel, there is hope. You will never forget your pregnancy loss or baby, but you can find meaning and experience joy again.

What are some common themes or emotions that you see loss parents experiencing?

• Isolation – Feeling completely alone in grief
  
• Body Betrayal – Believing their body failed them
  
• Self-Blame, Shame, and Guilt – Wondering what they could have done differently
  
• Anger or Distrust – Often directed toward health care providers or systems
  
• Avoidance – Staying away from places or providers associated with the loss or with babies/children
  
• Relationship Shifts – Strained connections with partners, family, and friends

Grief can also bring trauma symptoms such as: depressed mood, irritability, anxiety, flashbacks, memory gaps, difficulty concentrating, intrusive thoughts, mental fog, or disrupted sleep.

What would you want others to know about how to approach loss parents?

Pregnancy and infant loss is often met with silence. Many people avoid saying anything, worried about saying the wrong thing or making parents upset. Yet what grieving parents long for most is acknowledgment.

• Say their baby’s name.
  
• Recognize them as mothers and fathers.
  
• Validate that their grief is real and important.

Approaching with empathy creates space for healing.

What resources and approaches have you seen working that give you hope?

RTZ Hope empowers parents to seek whatever healing paths feel right for them. Connection is essential: joining with others who understand can lessen the weight of isolation.

Grief education is another key part of our groups, workshops, and retreats, helping parents understand that what they’re experiencing is a natural response to loss. 

Finally, we encourage parents to explore ways of staying connected with their losses/babies—through ritual, creativity, spirituality, or personal reflection. These acts of connection often bring comfort and meaning.

What thoughts would you like to leave readers in honor of PAIL Month?

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is a reminder that these stories matter and that no one should have to grieve in silence. Every baby’s life, no matter how brief, is significant. This month gives parents an opportunity to share our own stories, feel seen, and be connected to a community. 

At the same time, this month can feel overwhelming. Sharing publicly may leave us with a vulnerability hangover. Reading others’ stories can stir difficult emotions—anxiety, fear, or deep exhaustion. These reactions are common. If you need to step back to protect your heart or your energy, that is okay.