My Story of Loss: From Feeling Isolated to Understood

By: Heather, Parent Education & Resilience Collaborative (PERC) participant

If you are in the process of trying to be a parent, pregnant, or parenting and living in King County, our local Parent Resilience Specialists are available for you to help make those strides with confidence. To get more information call our Warm Line (1-888-404-7763) and ask for info about PERC. 

January 1st I took a pregnancy test. What a wonderful way to start the new year I thought. A new beginning after such a crazy year. The first trimester went as well as first trimesters go with exhaustion, nausea, and bloating. We saw the baby and the heartbeat at our 8-week ultrasound and eagerly awaited the next time we would see our baby at our 12-week ultrasound. Despite being over 35, knowing there was an increased risk, I went into the ultrasound by myself (thanks COVID restrictions) as naive as a first time parent.

Our lives changed forever that day when we found out that our sweet baby had a genetic abnormality. After more testing, a lot of heartache, and 3 weeks since we found out our baby’s diagnosis, I had a miscarriage after 15 weeks of carrying him.

I reached out to the Warm Line after a recommendation from my therapist. She suggested it for the expertise in supporting perinatal mental health. After my first call, I felt like suddenly there was an entire village rallying around me to provide me with whatever resources could best help my situation. It was shortly after that I was connected with a Parent Resilience Specialist, Clysta, and that changed the game.

Finding someone who could relate to my grief and loss helped me see a path forward through the grief and complicated emotions. There was just something about being able to talk to someone who could empathize with the weird, awful, and difficult feelings that grief brings up that helped me turn a corner. I went from feeling isolated to feeling understood. Clysta offered a kind, understanding ear, unique insights from her own experiences, and most of all gentle, compassionate words to help me feel like I wasn’t alone. I will be forever grateful for all of the people who helped me through this heartbreaking time in my life, but especially to Perinatal Support Washington for being there when this mother needed it most.

Thank you, Heather, for sharing your story with us. If you are interested in sharing YOUR story in future newsletters, contact Your story can help more parents know they are NOT alone.

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